Break ups are excruciating. That’s why there are so many sad country songs about them. Break ups create insecurities, amplify our critical inner voice and parade our flaws for everyone to see. Our instinct, or our desperate hope, is to not feel even a drop of pain. Not feeling any pain is impossible, but we try with distractions, denial or a nice bottle of wine.
Breaking up with a toxic human adds a whole new level of agony because there is no closure, your self-esteem is buried somewhere in the backyard like a body and hope hangs around like second-hand smoke. I was in the middle of berating myself for feeling sad over someone that hurt me on a daily basis, when I looked at this journey in a different way. Instead of looking at what I lost – I opened up to how full my life is with or without my ex. I realized that with my ex out of the house and out of my life, everything felt lighter. I discovered three reasons my break up is a good thing. See if these truths help you too.
- This is the catalyst to discovering who I really am and being my true self – I have nothing to lose now – my toxic ex already walked out of the door. The relationship wasn’t based on the real me.
- My mind is free to focus on accomplishing my dream of publishing a book. (The break-up helped me rediscover why I had that dream) I spent way too much time defending myself in my mind.
- I am starting fresh – healing what led me to attract a toxic man, asking what I value and learning how to set boundaries. I put up with and overlooked sooo much abuse and b.s.!
There is no ‘correct’ way to move on from a toxic relationship – the most important thing to remember is giving yourself grace.
Namaste!
Hot Mess Experiences 